Our journey into foster care began about 6 years into our marriage. Both of us felt God nudging us to become foster parents. When I finally got up the nerve to discuss it I was shocked to find my husband had been thinking about it for some time too. Years prior we had discussed fostering, had attended an orientation and returned home with the paperwork to fill out. At that time we were newer into our marriage, learning how to blend a family among other things and we didn’t pursue it further. But here we were years later, in a far different place in our marriage. Now with an “ours baby” who was less than a year old and feeling the call again.
So I wrote a Facebook message to a recruiter for foster parents through Fostering Washington. After some back and forth messages she called me and filled me in on all the steps. This eventually led to a rather large stack of paperwork sitting on our dining room table from the private agency we chose to get licensed through.
It was daunting. It was intrusive. It was personal. After a few weeks the stack was slowly finished. In it every personal detail of our lives, relationship, parenting style, childhood experiences and beliefs was filled in. Surprisingly they didn’t ask for our blood types or if we were organ donors. (I won’t say that too loud, it might be included in the updated versions)
Foster care core training was exciting and terrifying at the same time. Could we really do this? Were we crazy? Our trainer was amazing and very real. He didn’t sugar coat the realities of foster parenting. The Good. The Bad. And the Ugly. I walked away knowing that Reunification would always be the number 1 goal of the department and that the system is far from perfect. I put it in my mind that I wouldn’t be doing this because the system was perfect but because I wanted to be there for these kids. My husband’s desire was largely focused on adopting out of foster care. I wasn’t opposed to adoption but it wasn’t my main goal either.
Then began the home studies. The medical appointments and shots. Dog vaccines. Safety plans and evacuation plans.
Once it was all done and dropped off at our agency it felt surreal. For months we had been chipping away at the mountain of paperwork and requirements and now we were done. Now we wait. We were excited and anxious. We discussed what it would be like to get that first call. What questions to ask. Our “hard lines”. Our parameters. My husband was very firm that my bleeding heart was NOT allowed to say yes to a placement without first talking to him. Ok, got it!
Weeks passed by with no news. I started to get anxious, would we never be approved? Then came the call. As I sat on the phone with our licensor I finally heard what we had been waiting for. We were official. We were licensed foster parents in the state of Washington. Quite literally, licensed to parent.
In the next breath our licensor goes “let’s talk about possible placement.” In my head I was thinking “Whoa, really?! Already?! I’m not ready! Two seconds ago I didn’t even know if we would ever be licensed! Where is that list of questions I am supposed to ask? Just say yes, who cares, bring me all the babies in the world. I will love them ALL!” As I reigned in my thoughts I said “Ok.”
That call is nothing like you expect. Or maybe it is and I am an anomaly. It starts of with this vague description. No true details of who the child really is, a little like a medical file with all the highlights. Then you are given an opportunity to ask questions. Which may or may not be answered depending on the information available or confidentiality conflicts. I gave it my best shot with my list of questions we had discussed in training then decided on weeks prior. I honored my promise to my husband and told her I would call her back once I had a chance to talk to my husband. My anticipation was building as I waited for him to get home from work. Would he say yes? Would he say no? This placement was two children, instead of one like we had discussed. They were older than we had originally talked about. And they were girls which meant we would need to convert our sons room into a girls room.
When he got home we sat down and I shared with him that our license was finally done! AND we had our first placement call. I led into the conversation with there are two, girls, and the ages. Then asked do you even want me to continue or is it an automatic no? He told me to continue.
Two days later our first placement arrived and our journey into foster parenting began.
Just like that my heart for fostering began.
Hart of Fostering 